That First Date for Youngsters

If you have a young boy or girl who is getting ready for that first big date of their teenage life, you can probably remember how nervous you got that first time. And for many parents, we get as nervous as the kids get about that first stab at taking a girl out on a date for real. So if you can help him out with some ideas on what to do and how to conduct the date, it will make things go a lot smoother for him.

Obviously any first date will probably be done with some form of chaperone. Even if you don't feel the need to "keep an eye on them", if they cannot drive, someone has to drive them to the event and pick them up again. So if your young man is planning the date, that has to be part of the arrangements.

You don't want your young guy to go on the first date and either be too pushy or expect too much. Kids need to learn that things take time and the best piece of advice you can give him is that he should just have fun and show his date his true self. Let him know that if he can just make a good impression now then the next dates will be a lot more relaxed and he can work for that first kiss then.

One great way to get around the first date nerves is to go out on a group date. This makes his date feel safer and allows them to get to know each other better without all the pressure of having to always be talking to just the one other person. Just make sure they know they should be making every attempt to be with their partner, not sliding off to be with their group of friends and vice versa or it will not be a date at all.

He may be wary of a group date because he thinks that other children will try to steal his date away from him. First of all reassure him that if she is interested in him and he is paying attention to her during the date then he should not need to worry about that. Then tell him that one trick to get people to stay away is to give her something that she will wear which will show people that she is interested in him. Try a flower for her hair, a bracelet etc, just something simple and inexpensive, she will be pleased to receive a present and if she wears it then everyone will know she is his date.

There are other nice outings that two kids can enjoy together and begin to explore the world of dating. Bowling is always good because it's a game and once they get there and start playing, the nervousness will disappear. Movies are always good too as long as the feature is age appropriate because parents can drop the kids off at the theater and know when to pick them up.

We often think of dates as meals at a restaurant, they have so often been portrayed that way in films and on TV. Until he gets more experience try and get him to steer away from such a formal date, until he has the skills to make it a success. If he likes the idea of taking her out for food though he could take her to a food court in a mall, that way the atmosphere is less formal and he still gets to be the gentleman and buy the food.

The young man should be also be taught that at the end of the first date he should be a perfect gentleman and walk her all the way home. He should understand that he does not need to get a kiss to have a good date, that all women are different and he will offend her if he tries to force a kiss. Tell him to watch for signs that she wants to kiss him on the cheek or give him a hug etc, no doubt her parents will be watching from inside so tell him he doesn't want to upset them on the first date!

Once they have been out once then they can start to relax and romance will blossom, then he will be satisfied that she likes him and they can start to turn into lovesick teenagers, it is just that very first date he needs to master if he wants to start a lasting relationship.